From dull reality I silently step aside
To please myself with a surreal ride
Undressing the burden of prejudice
Diving aloft into the pool of bliss
Shattering all the shackles of space-time
Intoxicating words with thoughts to rhyme
Pages pouring out elixirs of pleasure
Healing wisdom beyond any measure
Messages preserved by immortal greats
Relishing minds with immaculate tastes
Kindling fantasies of self discovery
Triggering journeys of recovery
A reflection deliciously transformed
A seeking shadow divinely reformed
 |
| image by Manu Pombrol |
Muse prompted by Magpie Tales and FormForAll : Clarian Sonnets hosted at dVersePoetsPub by Samuel Peralta .
"Clarian Sonnet is composed of seven sequentially rhymed couplets – aa bb cc dd ee ff gg – in pentameter, or ten syllables per line."
I might have gone wrong with the syllable count as I was completely relying on http://www.syllablecount.com/default.aspx for knowing the syllable count per line.
You've done an entirely creditable piece here, and the foundations are evidently built on the Clarian sonnet structure. I've always been one to let the poem flow naturally - even with theoretically strict poetic forms like the sonnet. Thus, if you feel that the musicality of the line demands one more syllable or three, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it, in fact it would be, by definition, perfect.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sam!
DeleteEnjoyed reading the post about John Clare and letting us know about Clarian sonnets. I agree with adding in a syllable or three to increase the musicality, but feel a bit guilty for not adhering to the form rules. So most of the times, I stick to free verses than any particular form.
The musicality is all-important - even Will Shakespeare added the occasional anapest or trochee from time to time. A line has to FEEL right, and yours certainly do. Gorgeous.
Deleteha you did really well with the form...and some really nice lines in this...i like in particular...
ReplyDeletePages pouring out elixirs of pleasure
Healing wisdom beyond any measure
Thank you, Brian.
DeleteWow, that strange magpie prompt image pulled a clarion sonnet from you! You certainly improved upon the image, while creating a sonnet with some beautifully honest lines.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Lydia!
DeleteI like the rhythm you achieved with your variations!
ReplyDeleteA strong write. Thanks for participating in Poetry Pantry.
ReplyDelete